In this episode I look at the unhelpful mindsets I was stuck in during my 20s (and if I am not careful mindsets I can still slip into today). These deeply held, but never properly acknowledged beliefs created an environment for anxiety to flourish. It is only by re-examining and unpicking these ideas I have been able to recover and live well. Here are some other places/ resources which  you can go to for help: MIND, The Mental Health Foundation, CALM (the Campaign Against Living Miserably - specifically aimed at young men.) Maternal Mental Health Alliance (specifically for Mums in pregnancy...

  I came into your room today, to work here while you are at school. I found the perfect place to sit, back between the handles of your chest of drawers. The sun lights up squares of carpet and I can see the Linden tree coming into bud through the window.  I want to be near to your exploratory, feeling-everything-energy.  In a week I feel dull, drab and weary I want the newness  and very present complications you feel to imprint on me and my work.   By Elli Johnson   A poem written while sitting in my (then) 16 year old daughter's bedroom on the floor looking at the changing light. My eldest...

(Trigger warning: spiritual abuse.) A couple of weeks ago. The first warm Saturday of the year and my eldest daughter and I sit outside in the sunshine. I have my book and journal with me. Before I open either there is something I feel compelled to do. I decide, for the first time, to read about the abuse suffered at the hand of Bill Hybels (for many years was senior pastor of Willow Creek Community Church). To hear from the women who suffered. To stand witness. Not from some desire for lurid details but because it feels important to acknowledge 'yes, this...

This might just be my favourite podcast episode so far.  A couple of weeks back I travelled to Bath to attend the launch of the Positive Wellness Journal, the new book from the Positive Planners. For those of you who don’t know, the Positive Planners are Ali and Finn and together, fuelled by their personal mental health stories, they designed and launched a successful range of gratitude mindful journals. I was introduced to Ali and Finn about six months ago via the medium of Instagram. Having exchanged many messages over the past half year it was great to be able to finally...

If, like me, you forget to prioritise yourself, if you need to offer yourself grace in the overwhelm, this is for you. When you sign up to download this 60 second meditation, you will also be subscribed to my mailing list which will offer you grace and hope through a weekly (-ish!) email. (I promise no spam or nonsense ever, and I will never share your details). [mc4wp_form id="22194"]...

Hi, I’m Elli, and I’ve been learning how to live. After a lengthy battle with depression and anxiety I found myself in need of a thinking overhaul. I’d love to share with you some simple but profound ideas I have discovered. Because life is tough, and we all need a little help at times, right? Sign up and I will send you 7 daily emails to encourage you and bring you relief and hope. By signing up you will also receive a weekly-ish email from yours truly with some thoughts from me, maybe a link to a blog post and no spam ever (promise). [mc4wp_form id="22203"]...

In the words of Ferris Bueller, “Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”. Last night I took out my notebook and wrote a list of all I needed to do today. It was long. Impossibly long. Long enough to fill my time today, and probably tomorrow and the rest of the week too. I have never had a high-powered executive job where I get to wear a power suit a la movies from the 80s set on Wall Street. I am not on three different phone lines at once, delegating like a...

On Sunday it was Mother's day. I asked for one thing. Some time in the garden. It has been a good few months since I was out there and the very wet and fairly mild winter has created some work for me. Our garden is one year old. The planting, on the whole, was only done last year and I am, most definitely, a novice. I had great ideas last year when planting the beds, to make detailed diagrams labelling the position of the plants and to take photos of the garden at it's height, to remind me what needed to be done over...

1. I have really, really missed the sun. We have had one of those winters where it has rained, a lot. I don't mind winter, in fact I quite enjoy the opportunity to hunker down, to light the fire and eat comforting food. To lie in bed, snuggled under blankets, listening to the wind and rain outside. I even like the dark evenings and the shorter days - an opportunity to do some hibernating and not feel guilty about not 'making the most' of the day. Obviously I am not a fan of the cold mornings, the desperate dash from bed to...

In many ways 2014 was my year. I was healthier than I had been in a long time and I took on two jobs, working on plays in the largest theatres in our city, which book-ended the year. I loved it. Loved being part of a team, and making my contribution. I thought this year would be more of the same. Maybe some more work at the theatres, maybe other projects would appear, more proactive go-getting fun to be had. But 2015 has been quite different. Sometimes you get to be the protagonist in the story of your life and sometimes, if...