I prefix this post by saying: The church is made up of humans who are flawed and messed up, and get lots of things wrong. And despite everything, on Sundays you will find me in church. Because even though this family is dysfunctional, it is home.Like everyone else, we Christians love success.We love the sheen of it and the triumphant music. We love the way it smells and makes us feel. We love to wave our golden ticket, while we are GETTING IT RIGHT AND TELLING YOU ABOUT IT. We want to be heroes in our neighbourhood; helping the sick and...

When things are taking their ordinary course, it is hard to remember what matters. There are so many things you would never think to tell anyone.  And I believe they may be the things that mean most to you...

The simplest truths are the hardest to hold onto.It was the school nativity this morning.My children are too old to take part and I wasn't sure if I could spare the time. But the excitement in the yard was infectious and I found myself walking round to the front of the building, entering through the main doors and taking my place with all the other parents in the hall.The collection of angels wearing over-sized t-shirts adorned with tinsel sung of the glory of God. Some waved as they spotted their Mum or Dad in the packed assembly hall. My friend and...

I was raised on testimonies of healing. I was taught about the miraculous, Jesus healing the blind man, that meeting in South America when someone was raised from the dead, the missions in Africa where people had seen limbs re-grow and hearing restored.I thought healing was the only answer to the question of illness, because illness was always a sign something was badly wrong in your soul or heart or the world, right?I spent a long time waiting for the happy ending when I would stand and say I was now better. That my mental health was inviolable.When I would proclaim the...

What follows are some thoughts on moving from one place to another.We are living in Anglesey at the moment (for a three month sabbatical) but these words are not about a literal move, but a metaphorical one.The past few years I have been on the border, crossing from one way of life to another. My blog is subtitled 'Learning How To Live' because this is what I have been doing: learning how to live in a new way, in a new space.I have been transitioning from one way of thinking about myself, my life, my faith and the world in which I live, to...

I recently wrote a post about freedom. This post was a starting point for re-articulating my faith. If you haven't read it you might want to check it out before reading this.The ideas contained in these posts are fresh, and like wet paint have the potential to make a mess.I am stumbling towards truth, inarticulately.I am starting to write about some new truths.Some things my younger self would probably call heresy.There is nothing safe or tidy about this.--- I am good. I spent many years believing the core of me was bad.This idea sounded plausible and reasonable because, like every other sane person on the planet,...

Today is Ash Wednesday.In churches all over the country people are gathering to repent of their sins. They are kneeling while the vicar or celebrant draws a cross of ashes on their forehead as they prepare for Lent, and after that, Easter.I like this. A stopping point, a place to be reminded.It is only recently I have understood what repentance is really about.Maybe you never mis-used or misunderstood repentance, but for a long time I did. Repentance was part of the conversation about how I was messing it up and was not able to get my shit together. It was another way to...

Last Wednesday, I was in my car when I heard a programme on the radio about the Christian Feast that falls on that day.December 28th is the Feast Day of the Holy Innocents.A rarely celebrated day, this feast remembers the young boys who were slaughtered by Herod as he searched for the messiah.Very festive.Hot on the heels of Christmas, the day when hope and joy was made incarnate on the earth through the birth of Jesus, we are confronted with a feast that reminds us of the reality that his birth did not and has not brought peace.Atrocities still occur....

I struggle to articulate the discoveries I have been making about my faith, in part because what I believe cannot easily be squeezed into language. It cannot be condensed and compressed into words, black and white on the page.I am only ever able to scratch the surface, if I am lucky.Even if I had all the time in the world I would still remain unable to articulate the breadth and depth and complexity, the clear and pure simplicity, of the faith I am discovering.This was not always the case.I used to find my faith far more straight forward. For every question there was an...

With regard to my faith I have spent a lot time writing about what isn't.Exploding lies.Debunking myths.That sort of thing.I write about this because it is what I have spent a lot of my time doing in my real life. Unravelling thoughts about my beliefs, chucking out systems that have become constraining.I struggled under the weight of some repressive ideas for a long time.No one forced these mindsets on me. In the way that most things happen it was a mix of my personality, my experiences, my choice, my upbringing, and my pride that combined to intoxicate me with the notion...