I experienced my first panic attack in my car while attempting a three point turn in the road outside my parents' house. I was 22. One minute I was turning the steering wheel, focused on the manoeuvre, the next I was sweating with fear. My mind raced through a theatre performance I had recently seen, the most devastating moment playing over and over again on the screen of my mind. My body reacted as though this performance was not just real, but was a part of me. I was the dying man collapsing on the ground, I was the one losing...

Maintaining good mental health can be hard work. I didn't manage it, and when my third child was a few months old I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I had probably been anxious for 5 years by then, since my first baby was born in 2004. In those days mental health was not something that was discussed often. I hadn't realised what was going on and had assumed I was weak and needed to pull myself together, everyone else seemed to be able to cope - so why couldn't I? But it turns out I wasn't weak, I was ill. There is a difference....

Last week for Mental Health Awareness Week, on Facebook and Instagram, I posted daily about my battle with anxiety and panic attacks. I have summarised these posts here. I hope they might bring comfort to you if you are struggling, and serve as a reminder that you are not alone. Part 1. RECOGNITION Growing up I never really thought about my brain. It was just there, ticking over, doing what I needed it to. As a straight-A student, education was not a problem and apart from a few (obligatory) crappy teenage years I was outgoing and popular. I was brought up to know I was loved...

This morning I took two minutes to sit quietly in my chair before I started work. I close my eyes. I pay attention. A relentlessly joyful bird sings outside the window. The wind whispers down the chimney. The builders in the next street use a piece of equipment that makes a dull grinding noise and the traffic further afield brings a bass note to the song. My glasses rest on my nose. My hands are in my lap, fingers interlaced, one thumb on top of the other. The skin is warm and slightly dry. I scan my body looking for tension and remember...

On Monday I attended a workshop in London. The event was run by child psychiatrist Dr Sarah Vohra who (on top of her day job in the NHS) speaks and has written a book about mental health in children and young people. The event focused on dealing with anxiety, our own and our children's. I have used some of the content she shared at the event to inform this blog post. If you want to know more about Dr Sarah you can find her on Instagram here, and can pre-order her book here (our next month. I can't wait to...

Anxiety doesn't have a hold over me like it used to but it is still something I have to manage. Every now and then I experience weeks when anxiety hovers around, when the low-level buzz of it is ever-present. This can be because I have been too busy or not sleeping well, or because there is unexpected stress in my life. It can also be because I haven't been looking after myself very well and self-care has been neglected. It can be for no obvious reason at all. On these weeks I employ all the tactics I know to try and...

Do you feel restless? Are you waiting for the next thing; the next job, or weekend, or night of unbroken sleep? Is your heart drumming it's fingers on the desk? Are you impatient? And how's your soul? Are you at peace? Do you know contentment? Can you experience quiet and rest? This weekend I spent time with my sister and my Mum. These two wonderful women are both very active people. They are energised by being do-ers. They do stuff. They get stuff done. And in the action of fulfilling these tasks they find satisfaction. For them it seems this active, busy life is life-bringing. In years gone by after some time...

Today I am delighted to welcome Tim Grayburn to the blog. Tim Grayburn is a former advertising executive turned performance artist, actor and writer. He co-wrote and performed in his debut theatre show “Fake it til You Make it’ which focused on his own experience of depression. It went on to win ‘Best Theatre’ award at Perth & Adelaide 2015 Fringe festivals. The tour continued with further success in a sold out 4 week run during the Edinburgh 2015 Fringe winning the Herald Angel ‘Best Theatre’ award. He is the author of – ‘Boys Don’t Cry’ an autobiographical tale and exploration...

Hi, I think it might be time to take stock. To think about the things that are tricky. The things you want to ignore and brush under the carpet. I say this because, as you well know, acknowledgement is the first step. You have to see it before you can do anything about it. And the truth is: You are not okay right now, and that is okay. Honestly, it is. You feel low. And that's okay. You don't have to be great all the time. You are allowed to have a bad week, or month. It doesnt necessarily mean another crash is on the way. (In fact this...

To start, some truth: January can be hard. And if you are finding it hard, that does not make you weak. Because it can be hard. I feel this is worth repeating, let me make sure you know before you read any further: it is okay to be finding it hard. You are okay. So, Christmas is over, the decorations have been taken down and any post-holidays fog of wine and chocolate has lifted and been replaced by the stark reality that we are in a new year. 2018 is here. Everywhere there are adverts inviting me to become a 'new me' in this new year....