16 Mar

Posted at 11:49h in Mental health
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I Do Not Have To Be Busy. I used to think I should be busy. That a full life, a diary packed with activity, was the best way to be. In my twenties I hadn’t given any thought to my capacity. I didn’t think I was trying to do too much, I was only doing what I thought was necessary to make a life of meaning. I didn’t say no. Ever. As a freelance director if someone offered me a job, I took it. If I was asked to help out at church, I said yes. If someone needed me to step in, to...

09 Mar

Posted at 15:15h in Faith
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If you find yourself confused, if you feel you are walking in the dark not knowing if the ground in front of you is safe, not knowing where you are headed: welcome. Maybe your faith has started to crack apart. Maybe you have spent a decade or more caring for children and now the pressure has finally eased you do not know who you are. Maybe after two years living through a global pandemic the things you thought you wanted no longer make sense. Maybe you have suffered loss and tragedy and are questioning everything. This is for you. In the last decade I learnt...

25 Nov

Posted at 11:57h in Mental health
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It is possible to live most of your life asleep to the things that really matter. Modern life - life as we know it - works to prevent us from thinking deeply about anything.  The pace, the activity, the busyness, the screens, the hustle, the consuming and our ever-expanding expectations conspire to shrink our attention span and distract us from spending any time pondering the important stuff. We are numbed from the big questions: why are we here? who are we? what does it all matter anyway ? And if it is not the speed of life that prevents us, we can find ourselves actively...

07 May

Posted at 11:19h in Mental health
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May is mental health awareness month. A time to share experiences and challenge stigma. And one thing you are sure to hear is someone to say: it is time to talk. Being vulnerable about your mental health can be beneficial and aid recovery, but to be brave and start a conversation often feels impossible. It did for me. My diagnosis with post-natal depression and anxiety took me by surprise. I didn't know what it meant. I felt ashamed and afraid of how others would react. Better to deal with this in private and keep my friends, than be honest and risk losing them, I thought. But...

15 Apr

Posted at 16:36h in Mental health
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Today I am delighted to introduce to you my friend Phil. Phil has agreed to share his experiences of dealing with anxiety as a middle-aged (his words!) man; how it was for him and what he did about it. Phil is fantastic, I know you'll enjoy what he has to say. I am very grateful to be able to share his perspective here: I’ve never been too concerned about my physical health. I cycle to work, clocking up about 40 miles per week, and apart from my vasectomy have never had more than a day off in 25 years of gainful employment. I’m...

14 Mar

Posted at 10:20h in Mental health
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Before you can love anyone else. Before you can care for anyone else. In fact if you want to be any use to anyone long term: You have to love you first. I used to think loving myself was selfish. I thought prioritising my needs was self-indulgent. Surely it was better to sacrifice what I wanted to make others happy? I was a classic people pleaser, believing I would be loved and accepted only if I behaved and performed as others' wanted me to. So I morphed and changed according to who I was with. I tried to keep a lid on any...

13 Feb

Posted at 12:15h in Mental health
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Last week I was tired. A combination of over-work, broken nights and an increase in the emotional needs of the kids had worn me out. I was physically tired, but more than that I was emotionally and mentally tired. My body and brain had been operating at more than full capacity for a while and I needed a break. There are times we have to over-exert ourselves; a busy patch at work, a friend or loved one falls ill and needs caring for, a house move or other circumstantial change. There are seasons when we all have to dig deep and work...

14 Jan

Posted at 12:56h in Mental health
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Many people I know choose a 'word for the year'. A word they hope to orient their year around. A word they hope when they look back at the end of the year they will find has been the cornerstone, the theme underpinning all they have done. I have a word for this year. It has crept up on me. I think it came back from holiday with me in my suitcase. This year is a big year for me. My goals are bigger, my hopes higher. On 1st January I wrote (on Instagram): "I am looking forward to this new year. I feel excited,...