When the alarm went off this morning I was already weary. I am at the worst point of my period and I feel distracted and exhausted. My body is suffering, I have not slept well, and my belly aches. My mind is unable to settle, jumping from one thing to another. I am feeling low; a combination of hormones, lack of adult conversation and the rain that has fallen steadily all week, My first response is to attend to the long list of jobs that lies ahead of me today. I have writing projects that need attention, laundry to do, and meals to...

Eight years ago I entered the cafe and waved to the woman I had arranged to meet. She was barely more than an acquaintance but I knew she had some experience of counselling people dealing with grief. I was hopeful she would be able to give me some wisdom about how to help my friend who was suffering. I grabbed my coffee and pushed aside the feeling of frustration that this was how I was going to be using my short amount of kid-free time. It had seemed like the right thing to do last week when I had made the arrangement. The...

A list for anyone overwhelmed and stressed. A list for those of us who worry too much about what we cannot control. A list for the over-thinkers and the do-gooders. (A list for me). 1. Don't play it safe. Wear the bright red lippy, the yellow dress, the dungarees you think make you look like an overgrown toddler. Clothes are for fun. 2. Don't compare. You are beautiful and your life is good. Count blessings, dance in the kitchen. Silence the voice of comparison, it will make your life smaller. 3. Don't hide. Let somebody in. The mask will become harder to remove the longer your wear it. Allow...

Yesterday as I was chopping a pepper for tea, I cut my finger. A small but deep incision in the tip of the third finger on my left hand. I put a plaster over it but it wouldn't stop bleeding. I tried to continue with the food prep but was soon stopped by the throbbing and the blood seeping out either side of the bandage. Thankfully I had someone who could take over, and a friend nearby with the know-how to re-bandage my cut. Beth took off my hastily applied band-aid and searched through the three half-empty first-aid kits in the drawer. She took...

What do you say to someone suffering from anxiety? It can be hard to know. You don't want to put your foot in it, or say the wrong thing. You don't want to make matters worse. Let me reassure you - there is no perfect thing to say, mostly your friend just wants to know they are not alone. A couple of weeks ago I was anxious again. (I shared about it on facebook - here is the photo of me on that day.) After a long period when I have not had to deal with the symptoms and affects of my anxiety - the pounding heart,...

I was raised on testimonies of healing. I was taught about the miraculous, Jesus healing the blind man, that meeting in South America when someone was raised from the dead, the missions in Africa where people had seen limbs re-grow and hearing restored. I thought healing was the only answer to the question of illness, because illness was always a sign something was badly wrong in your soul or heart or the world, right? I spent a long time waiting for the happy ending when I would stand and say I was now better. That my mental health was inviolable. When I would proclaim the...

We have been in Anglesey for about 8 weeks now. It has been fantastic. As I write this I am outside sat at the table under the parasol. If I look up I can see the mountains of Snowdonia in the distance and the patchwork of fields, with the occasional house or farm dotted in between. The swallows that have nested in the outhouse where we keep the broken garden furniture and an impressive collection of cobwebs swoop in and out, dancing above me. All I can hear is birdsong, my fingers tapping on the the keys and a distant radio...

What follows are some thoughts on moving from one place to another. We are living in Anglesey at the moment (for a three month sabbatical) but these words are not about a literal move, but a metaphorical one. The past few years I have been on the border, crossing from one way of life to another. My blog is subtitled 'Learning How To Live' because this is what I have been doing: learning how to live in a new way, in a new space. I have been transitioning from one way of thinking about myself, my life, my faith and the world in which I live, to...

I recently wrote a post about freedom. This post was a starting point for re-articulating my faith. If you haven't read it you might want to check it out before reading this. The ideas contained in these posts are fresh, and like wet paint have the potential to make a mess. I am stumbling towards truth, inarticulately. I am starting to write about some new truths. Some things my younger self would probably call heresy. There is nothing safe or tidy about this. --- I am good. I spent many years believing the core of me was bad. This idea sounded plausible and reasonable because, like every other sane person on the planet,...