13 Feb

Posted at 12:15h in Mental health
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Last week I was tired. A combination of over-work, broken nights and an increase in the emotional needs of the kids had worn me out. I was physically tired, but more than that I was emotionally and mentally tired. My body and brain had been operating at more than full capacity for a while and I needed a break. There are times we have to over-exert ourselves; a busy patch at work, a friend or loved one falls ill and needs caring for, a house move or other circumstantial change. There are seasons when we all have to dig deep and work...

22 Jan

Posted at 11:42h in Mental health
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It is New Year's Day. We are in Auckland, New Zealand and have stumbled across an international tennis tournament. The tournament is not under the radar, but we do not follow the annual tennis schedule so, to us, it feels like a gift. The luxury of no other plans allows us to stroll down, wait in line, buy tickets and take our seats to watch some of the world's best female tennis players. Such joy. As we wait for play to begin my mind wanders through the possibilities the coming year holds. I am relaxed, happy, looking forward. It occurs to me;...

22 Nov

Posted at 14:20h in Mental health
1 Like

I love Christmas. I love the food and being together. I love decorating the house and buying (and receiving!) gifts. I love the opportunity to celebrate. But. There is a but. All the expectations around what Christmas could or should be can make me anxious. Until a few years ago as December approached I would find myself starting to worry. Would everyone have a good time? Had I remembered everyone's presents? Did the house look festive enough? Pressure and stress built up as the list of non-negotiable (as I saw it at the time) events filled my diary. I would panic about the most bizarre...

01 Nov

Posted at 14:12h in Mental health
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In the morning when you wake the dread is already on your shoulder. You feel the panic rising and swallow hard to stop it. It all feels too much.  You pull up your big girl pants and give yourself the pep-talk you have well-rehearsed about just getting on, just doing it, not quitting, not stopping. Throughout the day you struggle to make decisions. You find yourself rushing from one thing to another, worrying about what won't get done. Your breath catches in your chest. You feel you are always dropping the ball. The other shoe is about to fall. You are...

10 Oct

Posted at 12:33h in Mental health
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For World Mental Health Day some truth from my head and my heart. This much I know: Mental illness does not and should not disqualify you. Do not disqualify yourself because of it. What you perceive as weakness might be the truth someone else needs to hear, or give you the perception to understand how someone else is feeling. You are not disqualified. For more: read this. You are allowed to do what you need or want to do. This is true always but especially when it comes to managing and protecting you mental health. You need to cancel an appointment,...

20 Sep

Posted at 16:29h in Family, Mental health
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Recently I asked my email list* what they were struggling with. I don't have all the answers but I want to know my readers better and write about the things that are on their hearts. I was overwhelmed by the response and felt so privileged that so many took the time to share their stories with me. There were a few themes that emerged, common threads between the responses. So often we think the things that make us feel ashamed or scared separate us from everyone else, when actually it is these struggles that unite us. If only we knew how like each other...

15 Aug

Posted at 15:08h in Mental health
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I experienced my first panic attack in my car while attempting a three point turn in the road outside my parents' house. I was 22. One minute I was turning the steering wheel, focused on the manoeuvre, the next I was sweating with fear. My mind raced through a theatre performance I had recently seen, the most devastating moment playing over and over again on the screen of my mind. My body reacted as though this performance was not just real, but was a part of me. I was the dying man collapsing on the ground, I was the one losing...

26 Jun

Posted at 14:38h in Mental health
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Maintaining good mental health can be hard work. I didn't manage it, and when my third child was a few months old I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. I had probably been anxious for 5 years by then, since my first baby was born in 2004. In those days mental health was not something that was discussed often. I hadn't realised what was going on and had assumed I was weak and needed to pull myself together, everyone else seemed to be able to cope - so why couldn't I? But it turns out I wasn't weak, I was ill. There is a difference....

30 May

Posted at 13:53h in Mental health
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Self care is not just for stressed-out grown ups. Self care is an important life skill we can and should be teaching to our children. And just in case you think I am going to be instructing you to spoil your child, to give them whatever they most desire all in the name of mental health, let me reassure you. My favourite definition of self-care (which makes it obvious it is a skill we all need is) - self care: proactively creating a life you don't need to regularly escape from*. Self-Care is about making sure we are able to enjoy our...

18 Apr

Posted at 11:48h in Mental health
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This morning I took two minutes to sit quietly in my chair before I started work. I close my eyes. I pay attention. A relentlessly joyful bird sings outside the window. The wind whispers down the chimney. The builders in the next street use a piece of equipment that makes a dull grinding noise and the traffic further afield brings a bass note to the song. My glasses rest on my nose. My hands are in my lap, fingers interlaced, one thumb on top of the other. The skin is warm and slightly dry. I scan my body looking for tension and remember...